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Sexualizing Bisexuality

Updated: Oct 27, 2021



Bisexual woman (just like myself) are known very well for being sexualized. I won't say more or less than anyone else because I think everyone's experiences will tell a different story; but the over sexualization I see all the time with bisexual woman is insane. This isn't a post to bash men because quite honestly it isn't just men who do this. Bisexual woman are approached and put in uncomfortable positions by both other men and women all the time. Bi women are stereotyped to be very sexual people to begin with, thus we MUST want to have sex with everyone we lay eyes on…no. This stereotype is ridiculous to me; I have even been accused of cheating solely on the basis that I am bi. I want to hear other peoples experiences with this. Not only if you are bi but if you have caught someone else stereotyping or sexualizing bi woman or if you have caught yourself doing the same thing. If you know of or have experienced this in a situation, but not as a woman, I want to hear from you too! I don't have an experience that isn't as a woman, and so I don't know too much about that aspect but would really love to learn. I admit that before I came out I definitely believed negative stereotypes around bi woman, but since then I have both experienced this myself and seen it happen to woman I love and care for. Change is good, ignorance is not. Comment and tell me your perspective on this!!


- Bailey Wilson (Co-Founder)

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Jordan Webb
Jordan Webb
Oct 19, 2021

I think it’s so important that this is talked about more, especially outside the bisexual community. And not even just the topic of the over sexualization of bisexual identifying people, but just the stigma in general. One thing I noticed a lot growing up was that even when people considered being gay or lesbian as okay, bisexuality wasn‘t really even considered a real thing, it was just teenage girls wanting more attention from the boys (which actually now that I’m writing this out I’m realizing that this isn’t a seperate issue because the attention seeking perspective on bisexuality is rooted in it’s over sexualization). I’m glad this is a conversation being had and even though a lot of stigma remains…

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Alexa Johnstone
Alexa Johnstone
Oct 19, 2021
Replying to

I loved your post, Jordan! You raised so many good points-- specifically about teenage girls who kiss each other as a way to grab male attention.

As a gay woman, I always found it so weird when straight identifying girls would make out with each other at parties. It completely degraded my sexuality, framing lesbianism as a sexual performative act, rather than a valid sexuality and romantic orientation. Often times, the motive would be solely to appeal the male gaze, rather than displaying women loving women. Of course, kiss who ever you want! But only because you want to, not because you are doing it to appeal to the fetishization of lesbianism for male spectators. This perpetuates degrading stereotypes regarding…


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Omg Bailey I couldn’t agree more. As soon as my friends (def not ALL just a few) found out I was bisexual they immediately jumped to the conclusion that I want to have a threesome. Why is that? Just because I am attracted to men and women doesn’t mean at the same time! And I think that applies to what you said too about cheating. Monogamy has nothing to do with sexual attraction! Normalize bisexual women being just as picky about their partners as anyone else (because we are!)

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Jordan Webb
Jordan Webb
Oct 19, 2021
Replying to

Alexa, I’m actually really glad that you mentioned this perspective on threesomes because as a bisexual who has participated in threesomes I was reflecting that stigma on myself and I felt like I was just perpetuating the stereotypes. That really helped me!

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Sylvanna Bolzon
Sylvanna Bolzon
Oct 18, 2021

Thank you for this post Bailey! It’s so important to bring attention to this issue within the community. As a bisexual woman myself, I have also experienced issues with this throughout my life. Unfortunately it seems that many of us are familiar with the sexualization and objectification that is shown towards our community. One theme that arises that constantly bothers me is the objectification of bisexual people. On countless occasions I’ve been asked to join threesomes with straight couples. Not only does this make me uncomfortable, but it diminishes me as a person. The idea that all bisexual people are readily available for threesomes is damaging. Having an attraction towards both men and women does not open my body up to anyone…

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Alexa Johnstone
Alexa Johnstone
Oct 19, 2021
Replying to

Preach it Syl! This is such an empowering post:)

I hope all wlw are not only able to say "No!" to inquiries about threesomes (if they do not want to participate), but also are able to educate the people you are rejecting. I would like to think people act out of ignorance and misinformation from poor representation, rather than out of actual association with bisexuality and promiscuity. Therefore, don't be afraid to let them know why it is harmful to assume all bisexuals want to participate in threesomes, so hopefully we can move towards a society that is more educated on queer topics and connotations.

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Alexa Johnstone
Alexa Johnstone
Oct 18, 2021

So important to bring attention to! Sexualizing is not the same thing as accepting ones sexuality✊🏻

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THISSSS

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